Dear Anna,
Another year, another Christmas without you. An empty chair at the table. Think about that. All the years I had set a place for you. Your favorite spot right next to your dad. Your favorite Christmas plate. It’s all still here. But you are not. People tell me you will always be with me if I never forget about you. I have the memories but I don’t have you. Would you have married by now? Would I be a Grandma? Could I have retired to stay home and take care of your babies I will never hold? I wonder sometimes if your children would’ve looked like you. Acted like you. Had your spunk or would they be quiet and shy. How many times have I wished it would’ve been me instead of you? As we are in a pandemic I wonder how many lives you would have touched as they were in your care sick. or dying. You had a gift. Your patients knew it. Felt it. I sometimes think that you gave it all and saved nothing for yourself. Everyone came before you and in the end I think that’s what broke you. I think about you everyday. Every. Damn. Day. I will set a place for you at Christmas knowing the chair will remain empty.
Love always, Mom
